Turning 30

Age does not matter experience matters. A quote I have heard from time to time, I believe categorizing and prioritizing my life into these experiences is all turning 30 about.

It started about 10 years ago with an experience of getting infatuated leading to a one-sided affair in my dreams and then facing the crushing reality of seeing him leave with someone else, that is when I experienced my first heartbreak.

Another experience I encountered when I explored various fields in my career from finance to dance, later on settling on baking and finally diverging into writing. Each experience added to the missing part of me, defining my existence.

An enlightening experience when I was introduced to the spiritual guru, whereby learning, following and practicing the techniques I gave voice to my feelings and allowed the magic to weave its way in my life. One phase which I am still extremely proud of, as it helped me living this life in a much happy and contented manner. 

A time when I experienced lots of health issues which lead to depression, denial and self-loathing. It took a lot of effort and money from my side to get them treated. With the help of spiritual practices and Ayurveda, I worked my way out of depression and experienced a wave of love surrounding myself.

Looking back, on the experiences, I often question myself "Do I regret them?" Still, in thought, my eyes wandered to the girl’s reflection in the mirror. She was standing in her simple clothes wearing jeans and a tee slowly I scanned her body and gazed into her eyes. I found her eyes were bright with life and confidence her lips were split into a wide grin which was lightening up her whole face giving her a much younger look. Placing a hand on the mirror and admiring the girl for few minutes made me realized there were no regrets within me. Then like a lightning, it struck me I have fallen in love, over the years overcoming these experiences have made me fallen in love with myself.

30 years of struggle between head and heart yet the answer was simple that is to love myself irrelevant of people, circumstances or situations, the love which I kept asking others in form of acceptance and praise.

As the quote says “At 30 you finally start to catch up to those dreams you’ve been chasing for the last 10 plus years” by Bonnidette Lantz but I believe at 30 I have not only completed my last 10 years dreams but also found myself in the process and have started creating more dreams to last for another 10 years or so.

With Love

Shradha Khanna